Disco/funk Stones is pretty damn good Stones. Not to show my hand early, but there are several more songs that qualify as “disco” Stones on this list.

“Emotional Rescue”, the title track to the venerable rock band’s 1980 album, finds Mick riding his falsetto hard while Keith, Charlie, Ron and that creepazoid Bill lay down a tight, danceable groove behind him. That rhythm section is cooking, y’all.

Groove aside, and Mick’s falsetto aside; the part of “Emotional Rescue” that lifts it to five-star Valhalla is a spoken passage towards the end of the song, spoken by Mick in a voice that’s supposed to sound suggestive but really just sounds like someone on a lot of downers.

“ToooooNIGHT and EVERY night! I will be your knight in shining arrrmuuuuhhhh…coming to YOUR eMOtional RESSSSScueeeeeee…”. 

I haven’t even gotten to the part where Mick repeats “you will be mine all mine” like a demented robot, or when he says that he’s riding across the desert on a fine Arab charger. It’s funny in a disturbing way. I guess these are the types of things you came up with with if you were a rich rock star in the late ’70s and you were probably high on coke.

“Emotional Rescue” is great, is ultimately what I’m saying. There was this guy I used to work with back in the Tower days who loved “Emotional Rescue” as much as I did. We’d recite this part to each other during down time and crack one another up. It was a time, I tell ya.